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When My World Stopped Turning・私の世界が止まったあの時・当我的世界停止转动

Updated: Jan 26

One morning seven years ago, I woke up just like any other day, but while I was applying makeup, I noticed that the left side of my face didn't move like normal. I shrugged it off as just being half asleep and went to work. However, once getting there, I started to realize how things were definitely not okay – the left side of my face had become paralyzed. I remember calling my father holding back tears asking if I could fly to him in Japan.

In the end, I was very blessed to have had coworkers who helped teach my classes and a workplace that had enough compassion to give me time off.

So, to everyone who said I was scared to try Chinese medicine and left for Japanese (Western) medicine, you are mistaken. I tried everything from international hospitals to local hospitals to cupping therapy.

I did not try acupuncture not because I don't believe in it, but because I don't like needles.

I left Beijing after several weeks of seeking help at a local clinic that I visited multiple times, 3 big-named hospitals, a private Chinese medicine doctor who holds a doctorate in this area, and another clinic near my work. I tried countless types of medicine (half of which made me throw up) and trusted in the doctors to do their jobs even though everything was always in Chinese. I believe I deserve credit for that - for being open to trying.

I went to Japan to seek the medical care I knew could be received there, as a last resort. To be honest, I was scared as hell because half my face was numb -- I think anyone would have been.

This period in my life is honestly sort of a big blur. I remember going to so many different hospitals on different occasions that I lost count. I remember being so sad, depressed, and hopeless. I remember having so many needle pricks, IVs, and painful procedures done. I didn't know what was wrong with me and no doctor did either. At some point, I remember fearing for my life.

This was a wake-up call for me to actually care about my health and not to work myself straight to my grave.

I learned that it's okay and it's NOT selfish to put yourself first. As a wise friend said, “You can always find a new job, but you won't get a new face.”

I know now that it's never okay to treat yourself less than what you're worth.

Whenever my time comes, my utmost hope is to be able to answer a resounding YES to the following questions:

“Did you make the most of this beautiful, terrifying, messed-up life?”

“Did you let go of all the things that held you back? So you can hold on to what matters most?”

-Grey's Anatomy

What are your priorities in life?

How much do you actually care about yourself?






数週間が過ぎ、何度も訪れた地元のクリニック、3 つの大きな病院、その博士号を取得している民間の漢方医、職場の近くの別のクリニックで助けを求めた数週間後に私は北京を離れました。そして、数え切れない程の種類の薬を試しました (過半数は吐き気を催しました)。すべてが常に中国語だったにも関わらず、医師たちを信じていました。これに関しては自分なりにすごく頑張ったと思います。






























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